If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
He really likes Obama...and Bill Clinton too. He said "I mean, how many presidents can say that they got head in the oval office?"
Soulmates.
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
Woke up backwards on a recliner
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
Randomize