So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
Randomize
