There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
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