I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
Randomize
