I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
Randomize
