I want to stick my p in your. b.
Ikea night.
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Insert tab A into swedish slot B
When my kids ask how I lost my virginity Im going to have to tell them of a mythical thing called "Myspace" and how strangers could lure you into their "den of love" thanks to clever quotes and graphics
Roman Polanski is more welcome at my daughter's birthday party than you are at that bar
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
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