You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
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