My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
Randomize
