the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
You handed J your Mayan-pocalypse shopping list and told him he wasn't getting laid unless he brought everything on it. Where is he supposed to get a live goat?!
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
Randomize
