Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
Randomize
