i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
Go christen that room with your naked body.
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
Randomize
