I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
Randomize
