My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
These tits shall not be calmed
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
Randomize
