I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
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