We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
Update: drank half a bottle of Bourbon and texted three ex's. Waiting for the roommates to go to sleep so I can raid the fridge.
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
Randomize
