Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
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