Small penises have feelings too.
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
Randomize
