I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
Ya know what's the worst? Being drunk and wanting to show someone a picture of your goddaughter but not wanting to open the pictures on your phone because the first one is of someone's dick..
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
Randomize
