Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
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