we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
Randomize