She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
Just spun two beer bottles and Placed them in my pockets perfect... I feel like the clint eastwood of drunks
Woke up at 4:30am to my little brother shaking me. Apparently I fell asleep naked on my kitchen table waiting for the toaster to pop. 2 years of college completed and i still havent learned my drinking limit...
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
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