just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
I'm currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
just to let you know, that was probably the funniest text i've ever received.
I suppose that kind of helps fill the void where my self respect used to be.
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
Randomize
