Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
We need a shit load of segways right now
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
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