Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
Too much gin, very little bucket
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
Randomize
