So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
Church boner. Awkwardddd
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
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