Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
This house was built for laser tag.
people are starting to question the shark bite story
it's like heaven, but drunker
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
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