Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
if your leaving for the weekend then im farting on your pillow
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
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