With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
Today would have been my 8th wedding anniversary and I woke up with a hot European guy in my bed. Divorce has it's perks.
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
Just puked most of my soul out..
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
Randomize
