i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
I've been eating like all day, let me suffer my one 'Dear lord, I'm the size of a small whale. One that doesn't even need to find being killed by illegal whaling because I'm not even big enough to provide an decent blubber, but still big enough to be considered for a brief moment.' moment in peace.
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
Randomize
