If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
Just crushed a xanax into my chewing gum. Its gonna be a long, fucking up flight...
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
Randomize
