I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize