1:57 a.m. Where did you go???
1:58 a.m. What are you doing? I want to go home with you, why aren't you responding?
2:11 a.m. Heading back to your place now, will you let me in?
Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
Farmville is her only friend.
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
I'm currently watching porn and playing beer pong with wine in the lobby of a hotel with a squadron of hot airforce guys. You can never say your life is better than mine again
Randomize
