i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
MOMMMMMMMMMMAYYY! YOU BIRFED ME TODAYY. IM CELEBRTIN ON YUR BEHAF! THANK YOU!!!!!
I always hoped you would never inherit this side of my personality. Hon, trust me, you're a mess. Go to bed...alone. xoxoxo
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
to be fair i didnt know she wanted to sleep with me
WHY THE FUCK ELSE WOULD SHE DRAG A STRAIGT MAN INTO A VICTORIA'S SECRET CHANGEROOM GODDAMMIT
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