I just had to have my mom look at my penis to figure out what it was. How do you think my day is going?
Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
Randomize
