Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
Randomize
