I just farted at work and tried to cover up the noise by shuffling papers around
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
Randomize
