so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
I threw my back out having sex last night. I don’t know whether to high five myself for a job well done or cry because I’m old.
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
Randomize
