She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
Randomize