it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
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