There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
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