hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
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