there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
I just watched my mom open a wine bottle with an electric drill. I have never been so proud.
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
Randomize
