he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
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