Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
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