I just ate a cockroach and I want to be a fire truck.
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
Randomize
