discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
pray to the hookup gods
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
Well when I woke up this morning I didn’t think I’d be masturbating to my own LinkedIn profile today but here we are
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