He asked to "fluff my boner.."
you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
cell reception changed and I can no longer text you from the toilet... that means I'll be texting you less often, just fyi
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
Randomize