No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
Randomize
