i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
Randomize
