he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
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