Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
found the other keg... it's in the tree
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
Randomize
