If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
I think I sprained my soul last night
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
Randomize