p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
Sometimes, being an adult means buying a bottle of whiskey after work and live tweeting the commercial breaks on food network.
Randomize