Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
Randomize
