I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
I sat down with you and helped you write your will last night. I was THAT convinced that you weren't waking up.
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
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