Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
nutella sex= disaster
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
Randomize
