Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
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