You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
Randomize
