Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
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